Friday, December 24, 2010

....happiness?

whenever x'mas nears, i begin to think about the new year. and with the new year comes new years resolutions. and with resolutions come the resolve to change things that we are unhappy with. what is happiness, really? "love," "satisfaction," "intense joy".... well, there are days when i feel all of these things and days when i feel only one.  does that make me "unhappy"? my relationships in every sphere across the board have provided great satisfaction for me. namely, i have the best boyfriend on the planet and i actually like him, i mean, really like him as a person. that makes me happy. i feel love always.... progression is something to be grateful for. internal and external.

i also believe that if u are unhappy with something you must change it, be proactive. i know what my future goals are, and everything that i do is a step toward those goals. daily i try to not be consumed by dissatisfaction in one particular arena of my life, so as not to affect the things in my life that truly make me happy. ...i find nit-pickiness, immaturity, negativity, general bullshit & stupidity to be counteractive to my goals, so i steer clear of all of the aforementioned; i am always seeking to evolve. evolution is impossible if u r surrounded by shit. ...i live by a simple creed: speak your mind, pursue all that is and feels good and right, be frank, honest, with no ill will....i move on--from people and situations--when i have nothing left to give ....i've been told that i give up on people, push them out of my life too soon.  i simply dislike running into brick walls. some accept too much, allow too much. knowing when to walk away is paramount.

i don't always say everything the right way or do what some think that i should, but i have no regrets and could care less how people view me, b/c i am true to myself and my beliefs. ...i think that people get caught up in insignificant things way too much...who said what. who did what. u didn't like it. tough shit. shit happens. u want to be right. life is not a power struggle. i am unconcerned with the insignificant... i am always seeking tangible happiness and contentment, doing internal work. are you?

merry x'mas [eve], loves.

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